I’ve been reflecting on why people are mean to one another lately. It seems especially prevalent with the recent bullying epidemic in our society. Here is my general summation: mean people are insecure. 

Meanness is a symptom of an underlying issue.  It is not an ideology. People just don’t go out of there way to insult or purposefully hurt each other because they are “mean.” The act of meanness is performed to express some repressed feeling that the person is not allowing themselves to process in any other way, thus building up anger and frustration inside to the point of eruption. If you are on the other end, it’s easy to say, “That person is mean”…or a bully…or an A-hole, etc. But why are so many people mean? Why have we come to accept meanness from each other as a commonality in our way of life? 

Perhaps by recognizing that meanness is systemic, we can begin to eliminate the more casually accepted forms, i.e. Rudeness, Disrespect, Emasculation (this is an especially popular pastime between young men), and the ever popular scapegoat for meanness…SARCASM (“I’m just kidding…”).

If step one is realizing that we have become apathetic to instances of meanness, then step two might be having a comprehensive strategy to squash the situation when you find yourself witnessing a mean persons attack…either on you or someone around you.

Maybe a change can occur if we give each other permission to engage in ongoing self reflection without fear of persecution. In other words, not get made fun of for exploring going to therapy, practicing meditation, or becoming more self aware in whatever ways we find meaningful as individuals without fear of what the bully-next-door will have to say about you.